Based on a true story
  1. one word: "fuck"
  2. Ugh why did I even bother to spend so much time pouring over my resume
  3. Why does everyone ask if I can code. listen baby boomers, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING CODE JUST BECAUSE I AM A MILLENNIAL
  4. Could I have been anymore awkward
  5. Maybe I should just learn how to code
  6. What the fuck is wrong with me?
  7. Maybe it wasn't that bad
  8. I wish harry potter's Felix Felicis was an actual drug I could take
  9. Since it's not could someone hook me up with some limitless?
  10. They only have a 10% acceptance rate, best not get my hopes up...
  11. How did I forget to function like a human? Did I?
  12. They're probably not going to call me
  13. Finding a job can be stressful
  14. Phone interviews can kiss my ass
  15. I promise I'm not that awkward in real life
  16. Why are interviews so fucking weird, it's literally just a conversation. Why do we over think these things? Why is everyone so serious?
  17. Fuck
  18. Fuck
  19. Fuckity fuck
  20. I know I could dominate that job, just give me a chance!
  21. I bet my interviewer did tons of drugs in college
  22. Maybe I'll just become a trophy wife
  23. Mama said "You'll have a million no's till you finally get a yes"
  24. I can't tell if that a minor disaster or a full blown category 5 hurricane?
  25. Haters gonna hate. I'm still awesome, right? Right??
  26. Time to sulk and pour my sorrows into this margarita glass
  27. I swear I was confident five minutes ago, where did this shy alter ego come from?
  28. Am I being too hard on myself?
  29. Just breathe
  30. *inhales deeply*
  31. Just remember: Tomorrow is a new day
  32. Even though I'm unemployed and completely overwhelmed and frazzled about my future, I think I'll still do something yet