The Stages of Using A Face Mask
They're great, until they're not.
- •Excitement"This is going to be fun. My face is going to feel so wonderful. I am pampering myself, I am a queen, I deserve this."
- •Confusion"Can I rip the package open? Should I get scissors? Do I need adult supervision for this?"
- •Disgust"Uhg. This is all over the place, if the place is anywhere beside my facial area. Why is it under my nails?! It's in my hair. Fuck it."
- •Shock"It takes how long to dry?!"
- •Acceptance"This is my life now. I will sit here forever then die not moving my head so I don't get it all over my shirt. I have had a good life. Tell Aunt Karen she's not invited to my funeral because she said I was single because I'm not blonde."
- •Relief"HALLELUJAH IT HAS DRIED. THUNDER CATS HO!"
- •Delight"I can move my face again! It feels so clean. If my skin could talk it would thank me. You're welcome."
- •Exhaustion"I need a nap. This was supposed to relax me and instead I went on a roller coaster of stress."
- •Empty Promises"I'm never doing this again......probably."