The Stages of Using A Face Mask

They're great, until they're not.
  1. 1.
    Excitement
    "This is going to be fun. My face is going to feel so wonderful. I am pampering myself, I am a queen, I deserve this."
  2. 2.
    Confusion
    "Can I rip the package open? Should I get scissors? Do I need adult supervision for this?"
  3. 3.
    Disgust
    "Uhg. This is all over the place, if the place is anywhere beside my facial area. Why is it under my nails?! It's in my hair. Fuck it."
  4. 4.
    Shock
    "It takes how long to dry?!"
  5. 5.
    Acceptance
    "This is my life now. I will sit here forever then die not moving my head so I don't get it all over my shirt. I have had a good life. Tell Aunt Karen she's not invited to my funeral because she said I was single because I'm not blonde."
  6. 6.
    Relief
    "HALLELUJAH IT HAS DRIED. THUNDER CATS HO!"
  7. 7.
    Delight
    "I can move my face again! It feels so clean. If my skin could talk it would thank me. You're welcome."
  8. 8.
    Exhaustion
    "I need a nap. This was supposed to relax me and instead I went on a roller coaster of stress."
  9. 9.
    Empty Promises
    "I'm never doing this again......probably."