Why Camping Is The Worst

Because it is literally the worst.
  1. Mosquitoes
    Ugh, those little blood suckers, contaminating your blood and sucking you dry! If you want to not get Malaria or Zika, you must wear a foul smelling toxin to make them ignore you.
  2. The Elements
    Every camping trip I am always so freezing cold or dying of a heat stroke. There is no in between.
  3. Lack of Comfort
    Why why why would I take off work, and lose money to sleep somewhere on the ground, and be uncomfortable. Like how is that a vacation? Hard pass on that.
  4. Danger of Wildlife
    I can remember every camping trip encountering poisonous snakes, coyotes, wolves, and alligators. Why would we risk it?!
  5. NO BATHROOM
    Ugh, if you enjoy squatting in the woods, with your vulnerable bum, exposed to the elements, be my guest, but seriously this is the worst.
  6. S'mores
    This actually isn't why it's the worst, but it's why I think people continue to do this. They do it for the graham... cracker that is, covered in chocolate and marshmallows. It's how I psych myself up, and make it bearable anyway. A campfire and s'mores is indeed nice, but you knows what's nicer? No bug bites and back that isn't sore.