Requested by @gd3
Requested by @gd3
  1. I've spent a good deal of my life avoiding self-embarrassment.
    Regularly checking my teeth for poppy seeds or spinach, making sure the back of my dress wasn't tucked in my pantyhose or caught in the car door, dragging toilet paper on my shoe ... that sort of thing.
  2. But the thing I fear most of all? Taking a tumble. In public. On the stairs. On a sidewalk crack. Over my own two feet.
    I take great pains to avoid it—and I'm very successful at it.
  3. So. Our curbside painted house numbers had faded terribly.
    I was waiting for the numbers-painting kid to show up with stencils and spray paint. But it needed to be done.
  4. I picked up stencils and paint and went to work.
    And I did it! No errors, and my semi-stylized digits looked great.
  5. Feeling triumphant, I got my supplies into the garage.
    But I wanted to take a couple pictures of my work.
  6. I took a few snaps, turned,
    and walked briskly toward the house.
  7. Then I tripped.
    (Hey! Who did that‽)
  8. In slow motion I went down hard.
  9. Falling, falling ...
  10. My phone flew from my hand and skittered across the driveway.
  11. My knees scraped the rough cement as they slammed into the ground.
  12. The palms of my hands stung on impact.
  13. I think my sandal came off.
  14. God-damned sprinkler head.
    The front of my sandal must have clipped it.
  15. First fear:
    Is my phone okay?
  16. Second fear:
    Did anyone see‽
  17. Third fear:
    Am I bleeding?
  18. 1. Yes, 2. Not that I could tell, 3. Yes; both knees and hands
  19. But a year later I'll still shudder and turn red thinking about it.
    Like now.
  20. Long, strange trip, indeed. 🎶🎶
  21. Thanks, @gd3. Is this what you had in mind?😊