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Pops really threw a wrench in my plans and made the last minute decision to use my oven to cook the bird. These are the silly questions he asked me.
  1. "You're awake?"
    Yes, I am. You called. I answered
  2. "Do you know how to turn on your oven?"
  3. "You're home?"
    Yeah, obvi. I just opened the door for you. We just spoke on the phone 10 minutes ago. Why would I leave?
  4. "Who told you to do that?"
    I just rubbed butter on the turkey. Food Network, Biatch!
This is what I heard while in line at the grand opening of The Crack Shack
  1. "Maybe the line is long because no one can read the menu. What's a brioche?"
    I die.
  2. "Do the bullets means they are the favorites or popular items? Like how do they know? They just opened today"
    It clearly states at the bottom of the menu that the ▪️denotes items served all day.
  3. "That's a big sandwich. They must have big chickens."
    Ok Mom🐔
  4. "Biggie, Michael, Beastie, Floyd..."
    Instead of numbers, you are given CD sleeves
  1. 1.
    Coming to America
  2. 2.
    He's Just Not That Into You
  3. 3.
    Rush Hour (1-3)
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