Five Photos of a Dog I Will Never See Again, Ranked
This weekend I went to New York and stayed with a friend in her sublet. She was watching her roommate's dog, Hank. The sublet is up in 3 weeks, and then she comes back to LA. Because this roommate was a stranger, I will surely never see this dog again.
- •#5: Perched sort of like a personKind of looks like he's a person but not really. Mostly just looks happy. Very friendly. Very into being photographed. Big fan of this one.
- •#4: Lazily flopped on my torsoReeeeal good. Quality expression. Still looks happy but maybe wistful? If I could project an emotion onto this dog right now it would be "happiness in the face of an impending existential crisis."
- •#3: Balanced on the arm of a chair next to my friend.Dude is straight up STANDING ON THE CHAIR ARM. Balanced perfectly! Like, what kind of dog is this? A movie dog? This one is like a still from a romcom where a girl falls for a dog. If Paula Abdul can make love to a cat who is also a rapper, my friend can marry this dog. I would officiate happily.
- •#2: Laying on the arm of the chair from #3That nose, tho. For real. I mean, get out of here with this dog's dumb idiot face.
- •#1: Making the exact same expression as meEasily this is the best one. Hands down. This one takes it all home. I have probably 50 more pictures but after this one what's the point? This is the dog pic gold standard. To conclude: this is the best dog I've ever met. Beat face, best mood, friendliest, doesn't even smell(!!), pretty smart, likes to play, really well trained. And I will absolutely never see him again. May these five photos live on in infamy. So long, Hank, and thanks for all the Instagram likes.