Things I Want From the List App

  1. Fame
    Let's face it: I'm a pretty good writer and I really shine on sosh meeds (*social media, doy). This could be my breakout app.
  2. Fortune
    Could a company hire me to write their lists for them? I have a friend who gets paid $10,000 PER VINE so this doesn't seem too far flung. "Top 10 Ways Coca Cola Is Your Bff." I could knock that thing out in the time it takes to drink a refreshing Coke Life (*sponsored list bullet point•)
  3. Romance
    Hey ladies, it's me: the guy with the sardonically irreverent POV who doesn't take himself TOO seriously! I'm here to meet new friends and really connect socially but the real story is this: I'm ready to settle down with an invite-only app user. If you like consuming and creating premium content, we've already got one thing in common! Do you like Elvis Costello and contemporary artists who wish they were Elvis Costello? If so, let's sushi.
  4. Vengeance
    Okay, shhh, be cool. Come closer and I'll level with you. Here it is: my parents were murdered by this app. I'm here to exact my revenge. I'm gonna just pose as a fun goofball looking for some laughs and post some lists here and there while I try to take down this app from the inside. Oh shit someone's looking. Haha! I just want to post about beagle puppies! They're the cutest! (Shhh, take my secret to your grave).
  5. Fun!
    Just here for a little fun and adventure! I love to write! This should be a blast!