Thoughts I Had About the Big Baby I Saw at the Grocery Store Last Night

  1. Last night I saw a grown up baby at the grocery store in beautiful Valley Village, CA.
  2. He pushed a cart with about $200 worth of groceries up to the cashier and then hopped up on the railing.
  3. Then he folded his arms, kicked his legs, and started scowling.
  4. The woman bagging the groceries noticed some stray blueberries had fallen out of his blueberry container and into a bag of avocados.
  5. "Excuse me, what happened to these blueberries."
  6. The baby, without looking up from his phone, said "throw those away. I don't want them."
  7. Then the lady started to pick the blueberries out of the cart while the baby looked at Instagram. She picked up the bag of avocados and removed the fallen blueberries from it one by one.
  8. The baby looked up and barked, "don't throw out my avocados! I want them."
  9. The lady rang him up and he grunted and acted dismissive and put upon through the whole payment process like Andy trying to pick up his fork and plate in Wet Hot American Summer.
  10. He paid his $200 and left to go... I'm assuming, change his diapey?
  11. The moral of the story is: sometimes babies don't ever have to grow up and that truly makes me furious.