HOW TO: REMOVE YOUR EYE FROM ITS SOCKET FOR A MOVIE ROLE
- 1.Choose an EyeI went with my right eye because FUN FACT: I have perfect vision in my left eye, but my right eye can't see things far away. I thought I'd keep my good eye, and pop out the bad sucker.
- 2.Choose a UtensilSome people will tell you forks. Some knives. Some knitting needles. I went with the classic "spooning" method (that IS the correct use of the term, right?). The more round the spoon, the more pleasurable the experience.
- 3.Firmly Grasp the Utensil near the eye...
- 4.Place Edge of Utensil between the eyeball and eyelidI prefer to use the "bottom-to-top" method. That way, with luck, the eyeball with fly up and you may be able to reenact a game of baseball.
- 5.Jam the utensil towards the back of the head/up towards your forehead/back out towards whichever direction you are facing.Tee-hee... Jam
- 6.Catch eyeball in baseball glove (if needed), wash it off, and place in desired location for safe keepingI recommend a glass of water. This will keep the eye fresh until you decide to place it back in your body.
- 7.Place eyepatch on eyeholeYou can make a makeshift eyepatch out of a bandana (pictured). This will keep the eyehole clean and will prevent dust bunnies from attacking your amygdala.
- 8.CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE COMPLETED THIS TUTORIAL!!!!!Try not to cry too much... It complicates things.