HOW TO: REMOVE YOUR EYE FROM ITS SOCKET FOR A MOVIE ROLE

@brittscott @michael_circa91 This one is for you. Daniel Day Lewis and Christian Bale took method acting lessons from me. This is for the role of "Cyclops" in the live-action @list remake of the 1997 Disney classic, "Hercules" BY ZEUS! I LIST-ZAPPED DISNEY'S HERCULES! ⚡️⚡️⚡️
  1. 1.
    Choose an Eye
    I went with my right eye because FUN FACT: I have perfect vision in my left eye, but my right eye can't see things far away. I thought I'd keep my good eye, and pop out the bad sucker.
  2. 2.
    Choose a Utensil
    Some people will tell you forks. Some knives. Some knitting needles. I went with the classic "spooning" method (that IS the correct use of the term, right?). The more round the spoon, the more pleasurable the experience.
  3. 3.
    Firmly Grasp the Utensil near the eye...
  4. 4.
    Place Edge of Utensil between the eyeball and eyelid
    I prefer to use the "bottom-to-top" method. That way, with luck, the eyeball with fly up and you may be able to reenact a game of baseball.
  5. 5.
    Jam the utensil towards the back of the head/up towards your forehead/back out towards whichever direction you are facing.
    Tee-hee... Jam
  6. 6.
    Catch eyeball in baseball glove (if needed), wash it off, and place in desired location for safe keeping
    I recommend a glass of water. This will keep the eye fresh until you decide to place it back in your body.
  7. 7.
    Place eyepatch on eyehole
    You can make a makeshift eyepatch out of a bandana (pictured). This will keep the eyehole clean and will prevent dust bunnies from attacking your amygdala.
  8. 8.
    CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE COMPLETED THIS TUTORIAL!!!!!
    Try not to cry too much... It complicates things.