ANECDOTES THAT WON'T MAKE IT INTO MY BEST MAN TOAST
My main dude Del is getting married today. As his best man, I have the honor of talking about our history and toasting the Bride & Groom. These are some Del memories that *won’t* be making it into my toast.
- •Bringing his own garbage can into my room and shitting in it as a “prank.”
- •Shitting in a ziplock bag, putting it in a FedEx envelope, and having it messengered to co-worker @kauffmania in another building.
- •Cutting down a small tree and dragging it into the living room of our house.
- •Shitting on the charcoal grill of a college friend who annoyed him.
- •Covering himself in a blanket and knocking incessantly on my door at 3:30am. When I opened the door, insisting the blanket made him invisible.
- •Quitting his job by leaving work to ride the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios.
- •Shitting in a Solo cup and putting it under a roommate’s bed.
- •Punching our roommate in the face and shouting “I’m trained to kill!”
- •Getting arrested for writing insults about his friends (along with his website URL) on the walls of several Mount Pleasant bar bathrooms.
- •Peeing off the roof of our house onto another guy’s head.