WAYS MY ROOM IS TRYING TO GET ME TO GO TO NARNIA

aka my hotel room in Ireland. Disclaimer - I am at an Irish wedding in Tipperary. I was a bridesmaid. I am still drunk. I went to bed at 5:30am. I will go back to sleep after writing this. I don't know what time check out is.
  1. This is a ridiculously large suite for a single people.
    Perks of being the only single bridesmaid. YOU HAVE NO ONE so you get the nicest room. (😒 but still take it like the bitch that I am)
  2. This, I am convinced, is the doorway to Narnia.
    These are the things in this room which are driving me to go to Narnia...
  3. These Downton Abbey-esq curtains.
    All around the room...(torn, as I LOVE Downton Abbey really...)
  4. This 1 single wall light...
    This is suppose to do what? Oh light the room you tell me - more like creepy spotlight for the artwork.
  5. Which moves me on to the art in the room...
    Madam
  6. Children painting
    Why?!? Oh don't forget spotlight on this one.
  7. This bed
    😶
  8. Having this in the room but no one to 'draw me like one of your French girls'
    This I regret the most.
  9. This mystery locked door which I have no idea where the hell it goes to.
    It's not to a joined room - my suite is not next to other rooms (I've checked).
  10. Having the free sockets on the other side of the bedroom...
    Come on this is unfair - I'm on 5% and need to finish this list!!!!
  11. Thought I'd sacrifice one of the bedside lamps to charge my phone and this shit....
    It's a completely different type of socket to the rest of the room and my phone plug ...WTF
  12. These ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ cupboards under the dressing table
    Where I should be able to put my legs - you know under the table...
  13. Giving me sparkling water but not providing me with a bottle opener
    😞
  14. Having the remote control next to the TV on the opposite side of the room.
    Yes I am one of those people who likes it next to where I will be sitting (in this case bed) and not the the TV - where I have to get up to go get it and go back. Too much work for what the remote is suppose to be the solution for.
  15. Taking a sip of this, which I thought was water but it was the last of the G&T I was drinking this morning at 4am.
    TBF this is my fault and TBH I did it twice (poured it down the sink after the 2nd time 🙈)
  16. This frosting on the bathroom mirror
    It's all kinds of 'in the way'...trust me, it really is.
  17. So like...I can't...I'm going....
    Are they kind to drunks in Narnia?