1. Lyft drivers only have android chargers
  2. Curiosity got the cat pregnant
    I don't know why the other one had to be the same shade of curious
  3. Hate's fear.
  4. Really cool looking people forget they're beautiful
    like old money doesn't look at the check
  5. Everyone is afraid of being bored
  6. Everyone is afraid of being lonely
  7. A good font doesn't make it better
    but it makes you better about it
  8. You're still late, even if you show up with donuts/completed homework/visible medical issues
    Respond accordingly
  9. Anyone who buys sunglasses from a gas station is a dad
  10. Lower back tattoos aren't cool
    Even though I beg to differ
    Suggested by   @drugs
  11. Buying sunglasses from a gas station is for dads or people who just broke out of prison
    Suggested by   @tombatten
  12. Success is earned by working hard not being lucky
    Suggested by   @Kee_mcg
  13. It will snow, briefly, while you're asleep
    Suggested by   @dcerruti
  14. Every salesman lies to make more money on their sales
    Suggested by   @deboralien
  15. The gayer he is the less misogynistic he is to women
    Surely there's an exception I just haven't seen it in action yet
    Suggested by   @llamaface
  16. No one likes being alone, even if just for a little while
    Suggested by   @katygent
  17. nobody likes to be left behind
    hold my hand and take me with you
    Suggested by   @sarahsarahpearl
  18. The slow driver in front of you will coast through the yellow light
    Suggested by   @tarawaller