The Unspoken Rules of My Friend Circle

i mean we're less of a circle and more like the ever tumbling pile in the board game closet at an estate sale
  1. never let it get to the bottom of the salsa bowl
    keep it coming, at all costs
  2. when someone doesn't know they've made an innuendo, demand that they repeat their sentence slowly whilst looking into your eyes
    everything must stop
  3. two pitchers
    five cups; one no ice, one no salt
  4. when introducing a friend, establish your wingman or cockblock status right off the bat
    can't be having lonelies. can't be having @ocdustino
  5. cigars for celebration
    smores for mourning
  6. when there's only one girl, she dresses like a dude
    we don't do this one on purpose it's just how we
  7. use context when operating in code
    there are literally twelve "who shall not be named"s
  8. don't make fun of broken hips
    too soon #SeñorFallRisk
  9. be aware of where the exes are
    if he's at Idle, you suggest the Mexican place. vice versa
  10. the gif
    and use it judiciously
  11. if it's someone's night, we celebrate them
    this got dodgy in the back-to-back birthday brawl of '15. Celebrated @jeffsojka until midnight struck and it became @stacymichelle's but the drinks from sojka's were literally still on the table it got heavy i think someone died that night