1. Professional shit-talker
    Or is that just what a critic is?
  2. Therapist/social worker
    I'm really good at listening to people discuss their problems without actually offering concrete advice.. People seem to think that they can confide in me because I'm quiet...UGH
  3. Existentialist philosopher
    Everything's pointless. We're all just proverbial hamsters running on a proverbial hamster wheel.
  4. English professor
    Okay.. This is more of a fantasy than it is something I would be good at considering I still don't really understand how to use 'proverbial'.... or semicolons.
  5. Social media coordinator
    I'm already on Twitter and Instagram all day at work anyway..
  6. Professional procrastinator
    I should really be working right now, not making this list
  7. Journalist
    Some day...hopefully