THINGS THAT ARE BASICALLY SEX FOR TEN YEAR OLD BOYS....

  1. Sharing a crush's ABC gum (already been chewed).
  2. Back rub circles.
    AKA Orgy Jr.
  3. Dancing to NEXT or Blackstreet.
    Poke before Facebook.
  4. Notes that go back and forth more than 5 times.
    Has texting replaced this? Is opening text more exciting than opening a paper note? No way. Right?!
  5. Chicken Fight in pool with crush on your shoulders.
  6. Gym class.
  7. Seeing bra straps.
  8. Being at friend's house when his older sister's friends are there too.
  9. Indian Leg Wrestling.
  10. Sitting behind crush at school and crush's long hair lays on your desk.
  11. Co-Ed Discovery Zone (or the like).