THINGS THIS 40-ISH WOMAN IS DOIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW...

O'Hare. American terminal.
  1. The splits. Just dropped into them. Out of nowhere. Then started stretching.
  2. Now pretzel legs.
  3. Into pretzel legs hand stand. I want to take a picture, but she's looking around to make sure people are looking at her. I'll be caught. It's too early for that.
  4. Now regular hand stand, legs 6 feet in the air. Tucked shirt in first. Totally premeditated.
  5. Now one leg way up in the air, ballet style, hiding onto foot with hand.
  6. Old man loving it.
  7. Back to pretzel, but walking around on knees. Boyfriend reveals self, joins in. Also very flexible.
  8. Several children have gathered now. She's helping them try her moves. This has to happen every time, and she knows.
  9. They've failed. Can't do moves. She's that good.
  10. Children have been pulled away by parents.
  11. Alone. She goes into leg in air, both hands and other foot on floor.
  12. Deep squat. Like shitting in the woods style. Boyfriend joins in.
  13. And back to splits, hands out to feet, chin to floor. The AIRPORT floor.
  14. She's all done. Uses picking up bag as last final stretch. Got her. She leaves.
  15. Old man takes off.
  16. Plot twist: I overheard old man mention his husband while boarding. He wasn't leering. Just appreciating. Maybe both.
  17. Was I being judgmental about all this? Sure. I'm human. Thanks though, lady.