THINGS YOUR SHRINK MIGHT SAY THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU PAUSE

Hopefully it'll never happen, but if it does, prick up your ears
  1. 1.
    Is there room on that couch for me?
  2. 2.
    Are you going to finish that [item of food, cup of coffee]?
  3. 3.
    OMG, the same thing totes happened to me! Let me tell you all about it.
  4. 4.
    That's not what your mother said.
  5. 5.
    "*ping* You've got a Facebook friend request" or "X is following you on Twitter!"
  6. 6.
    Oh, you work for X? I wonder if you could do me a favour...
  7. 7.
    You think that's bad? I once had a client who...
  8. 8.
    Let me tell you what you should do...
  9. 9.
    OMG, I know the perfect person for you - he sees me on a Tuesday...
  10. 10.
    Dude, you're totally Bogarting that.
  11. 11.
    "If you guys are breaking up, can I get his number?"
    Suggested by   @EricElkins