Hopefully it'll never happen, but if it does, prick up your ears
  1. Is there room on that couch for me?
  2. Are you going to finish that [item of food, cup of coffee]?
  3. OMG, the same thing totes happened to me! Let me tell you all about it.
  4. That's not what your mother said.
  5. "*ping* You've got a Facebook friend request" or "X is following you on Twitter!"
  6. Oh, you work for X? I wonder if you could do me a favour...
  7. You think that's bad? I once had a client who...
  8. Let me tell you what you should do...
  9. OMG, I know the perfect person for you - he sees me on a Tuesday...
  10. Dude, you're totally Bogarting that.
  11. "If you guys are breaking up, can I get his number?"
    Suggested by @EricElkins