REASONS LONG ISLAND SHOULD SECEDE FROM THE UNION

We have all the necessities for a fruitful and sustainable society. BYE!
  1. 1.
    We have a royal family...
    The Lohan's (Government: ✔️)
  2. 2.
    We have our own famous sorcerer...
    Ability to talk to the dead and token witch: ✔️
  3. 3.
    We have our own Snapple Fact...
    Answer to at least one Jeopardy question: ✔️
  4. 4.
    We have our own military industrial complex...
    Ability to inflict mass destruction: ✔️
  5. 5.
    We discovered DNA...
    Science and evolution: ✔️
  6. 6.
    We have our own cocktail in the form of a tea...
    Ability to black out: ✔️
  7. 7.
    We have the Hamptons...
    ...which Kourtney & Khloe already took...so...Declaring war on a foreign people: ✔️
  8. 8.
    We gave the world 95% of its famous people (Billy Joel, Steve Buscemi, Jackie O, Rosie O'Donnel, etc) AND NOW we're taking them back.
    Infinite supply of tabloid material: ✔️
  9. 9.
    We have our own theme park...
    Family fun & Near death experiences: ✔️
  10. 10.
    We are a freakin island...how cool is that?!
    Ability to be blissfully ignorant to those around us: ✔️