THINGS MY MOM HAS LITERALLY SAID...
My mother is the quintessential Long Island Italian mother. I love her to the moon and back, but she says some crazy shit. STAY TUNED FOR MORE!! (Apologies for the language, if you are offended please see @trevormorrow for hike and butterfly lists)
- •I should have been born with a dick but instead I married two!Re: my step dad not watering the flowers in the backyard and some of them starting to die.
- •I wish I was a lesbian in the jungle.Re: a time of frustration during my parents divorce. She said this while washing dishes in the kitchen and it is to date my favorite line.
- •And try not to look for it with your ass!Re: anytime me or my brother would try to look for something in the house and couldn't find it.
- •Have you heard from dickhead?Re: anytime she asked about whether or not I had heard from my dad.
- •Oh ya motha's ass!Re: any moment of frustration. Most people say "damn"
- •Look at this motha fucka crazy bastard fuck!Re: the one and only time my mom drove me to JFK on the southern state pkwy and someone cut us off.