THINGS MY MOM HAS LITERALLY SAID...EPISODE II
- •"Oh yeah? You'll occasionally get a bottle of water thrown from a helicopter...(long pause) I DONT KNOW HOW THE PEACE CORPS WORKS!"My mom mocking my brother when he said he wanted to join the peace corps.
- •"You're going to walk into his apartment and be like you're a fucking deuche bag!"My mom describing what my reaction would be to my brother's new apartment in Dallas...he claimed it is a dump. My first apartment in LA was a studio off Wilshire with 2 other dudes.
- •"It's like you're sucking someone's asshole. The next time they tell you to get them M&Ms say fuck you here's two dollars go to the vending machine and get it yourself!"My mom's take on my telling her how I had to arrange for someone to pickup a cast member's rider for a shoot.
- •"This is what your brother left in a message, "Hi mom happy birthday, I have bad news...I found a bug in my apartment and I'm breaking my lease!"...I hope he has a good time moving his ass out"My mom quoting my brother in a text he sent to her on her birthday.
- •"I can't wait till Donald Trump is president...that way he can tell everyone to fuck off"FoxNews is on a lot in my house, can't fault her really...if you have a never ending stream of hot blondes telling you Trump is faaaantastic you'd be on board too.