1. He refers to himself in the third person often, sometimes with the aid of a hand puppet and/or a mirror
  2. She is ruthlessly cruel to others but is routinely brought to tears over things like emails that don't give the credit she feels she deserves or other equally devastating experiences such as paper cuts
  3. He shifts people around the organization with the same level of effortless direction that it would take to toss his shoes in the trunk of his car
  4. She has screamed to the point that she has become hoarse but continues to scream while spittle forms in the corners of her mouth
  5. He believes that every entity he encounters wants to have sex with him, regardless of gender or species