8 REASONS WHY IM SINGLE

  1. 1.
    I never charge my phone
  2. 2.
    I make all of my boyfriends crash on the couch so I can sleep next to my MacBook
  3. 3.
    I haven't closed any of my Internet tabs in 2 months
  4. 4.
    I like to have sex with the lights on
  5. 5.
    I don't trust anyone that doesn't say the word 'like' in every sentence
  6. 6.
    I'm a morning person
  7. 7.
    I keep my eyes open when I make out with someone
  8. 8.
    I think Chlamydia would make a really pretty name