THINGS I SAID, FOUND, OR DID LAST WEEK THAT SOUNDED LIKE A DRAKE LYRIC

  1. Described a perfect Friday night as wine, popcorn, and "some heist movie"
  2. Successfully hailed a taxi while reading the last page of my book
  3. Looked great wearing my ex's sweatpants
  4. My number order on the Chinese takeout menu was also my bra size
  5. Found my college diploma stored next to a folded Wu Tang poster and a picture of my parents when they were young and in love
  6. Wore wet hair and an Allen Iverson jersey to the deli to buy Gatorade and Advil
  7. Felt a sense of accomplishment from taking my vitamins daily
  8. Facetimed with my mom so we could both model our new running shoes: Nikes for me, New Balance for her
  9. Ate salad on a stoop
  10. Wore Chapstick to the club and by club I mean a bar with friends