ITEMS I LEFT SCATTERED AROUND MY APARTMENT BECAUSE IT'S 5:45AM AND I AM TIRED/LAZY

I didn't choose the slob life, the slob life chose me. I desperately need to go to bed.
  1. guitar covered in sprinkler water (it's a long story), on floor
    I thought we were in a drought/water emergency but it's good to know that precious Los Angeles droplets are being used to keep the dirt path in the local park muddy.
  2. Chipotle napkins, on table
    these are napkins from the restaurant, Chipotle; not napkins that are chipotle-scented/flavored. important distinction.
  3. four used wine glasses, on counter
    your initial guess would be that this means four different people were drinking wine at my abode tonight, and you would be wrong.
  4. clean laundry from Sunday, in laundry basket, also on floor
    I have two timeframes of putting away laundry: either within 20 minutes of it coming out of the dryer or the week after the sun explodes, no in between.
  5. Manchester United away jersey, on couch
    a birthday present from my brother, it sits in a place of honor between my AppleTV remote and my cryin' pillow (this is a pillow used for crying, not a pillow that cries. important distinction)
  6. bag of tech fixin's (approx. $4,800 worth of computer/camera/audio equipment), also on floor
    I have several nice IKEA tables that could easily hold all this tech, but the floor was easier to assemble.
  7. hipster douche sunglasses, on counter
    my purchase guarantees that a child in Africa will also get a pair of glasses that make him look like a pretentious asshole to his friends and peers
  8. dignity, scattered all over the place
    might wanna gather that back up at some point, probably won't.