LOS ANGELES MOTTOS

  1. I'm on a cleanse
    everyone has been on a cleanse of some sort since 2008 yet nobody seems any purer
  2. 20 minutes, give or take
    the only amount of time it takes to get anywhere. Hollywood to West Hollywood: 20 minutes, give or take. Culver City to Burbank: 20 minutes, give or take. Long Beach to Edwards Air Force Base: 20 minutes, give or take.
  3. It's an industry event
    the only way to describe what you're doing between the hours of 7pm and 11pm on any given night. could be a dinner, a party, an awards ceremony, a meeting, staying home to watch Netflix (or in some cases, a combination of all five)
  4. Let's just split an über
    invariably suggested by the person who doesn't end up ordering the über and will subsequently forget to accept the split.
  5. I only order off menu
    I once saw someone demand to see the secret menu at a taco truck
  6. *Any casual name drop*
    "Oh I went to <any director who hasn't made anything in 3 years>'s house with <any C-list celebrity including but not limited to Cee-Lo Green> in <up-and-coming music sensation or dystopian-movie lead actor>'s Range Rover. It was an industry event. We split an über home."
  7. Can they make that with kale instead?
    one time someone in our group ordered a burger, no bun (gluten free) and sub the meat for kale. …so, like…do you mean a salad?
  8. Are they a dog friendly establishment?
    I only brunch in places where they allow my teacup poodle/terrier/Pikachu mix to sit at my table with me on the patio
  9. I'll for sure be there. 100%.
    expect a cancellation text about an hour after the event's start time