REASONS WHY ME AND THE AT&T GIRL WOULD BE A GREAT COUPLE

  1. she's cuter than she is hot
  2. her name is Lily and I like the name Lily. I have no idea what her real name is
  3. she's an actress, but she's not big enough that she's too rich to hang out with me
  4. she seems like she'd be very bubbly in real life without being obnoxious
  5. I could probably introduce her to my family without having to carry both sides of the conversation
  6. we are both probably sick of AT&T (I switched to T-Mobile two years ago)
  7. we both look good in soft shades of blue
  8. we would have unlimited data and unlimited fun (not necessarily related items)