1. Animal Style
    burger of your choice with added pickle, extra spread with grilled onions.
  2. Double Meat
    two pure beef patties instead of one.
  3. Your Father's Approval
    restitution for years of missed ball games and/or dance recitals, comes with tender, heartfelt embrace, full approval of your life and career choices, and no judgment of current boy/girlfriend.
  4. Protein Style
    your favorite burger, wrapped in lettuce instead of bun.
  5. Grilled Cheese
    two slices of American cheese with or without onions on a baked bun.
  6. A Warlock's Powers
    the full abilities, physical, metaphysical, mental and emotional of a warlock. choice of using powers for good or evil, beard optional.
  7. The McDonald's Menu
    every single item McDonald's is currently serving, including seasonal items. add Shamrock Shake or McRib for $3.00.
  8. Escort Services
    clean, attractive male and female prostitutes, suited and trained to attend to every one of your sexual needs and fantasies. hourly rates available, guaranteed STD free.
  9. 3x3
    three beef patties with buns in between.