THE FULL LIST OF JOKES I WANTED TO MAKE ABOUT MY NEWLY HORRIBLY DISFIGURED FACE+

disclaimer: I'm fine, but I had some real trouble narrowing down which jokes to use after I found myself with some unscheduled facial modifications. second disclaimer: I did use a few of these on my twitter and instagram, et al.
  1. cut myself shaving :-/
  2. might have gone a little overboard in my Game of Thrones/Tyrion Lannister cosplay
  3. whoa popped a wicked zit today
  4. joined a cool new club this weekend…the first couple rules are to not talk about it, but they seem like pretty chill guys so I'm sure they won't care…
  5. looks like someone has a case of the Mondays lol am I right?
  6. …All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Dustin together again
  7. "Wanna know how I got these scars?"
  8. I woke up like dis
  9. "when it's her time of the month but she's still about it"
    Suggested by   @Samuel