1. bourbon. anytime, all the time.
  2. only good at the very beginning of relationships.
  3. I be on my suit and tie.
  4. has sort of a thing for blondes. also brunettes. also redheads. also light-brown-heads, European women, California women, recent college grads, family friends, waitresses, secretaries, casual acquaintances, total strangers, subordinates, bosses, clients, Jewish women, stewardesses, models, and the occasional hooker.
  5. spends on average 7 years to figure out major life decisions (only to end up exactly where he started)
  6. open disdain for corporate America/meetings juxtaposed against affinity for amenities and monetary gain.
  7. crippling codependency
  8. daddy issues for days