1. at no point had the option of hooking up with January Jones
  2. was poor as a child…am still poor as an adult
  3. never stolen any identities
  4. never divorced (mostly because never married but still)
  5. worse hair
  6. pretty different definitions of "fidelity"
  7. desk. office. …job.
  8. no kids (that I know of hahaha AM I RIGHT WINK WINK) (no but seriously no kids)