My best smart ass responses to stupid people last week

Why sarcasm is underrated.
  1. Girl says "I wish we had a real purge, who would you kill first?
    I told her she would go first cause any idiot thinking about killing random people should have been taken out a long time ago.
  2. Guy tells me he's moving to California with his ex whom he just got back with for the 3rd time in less than 6 months
    "Your life coach sucks"
  3. Lady asks me "What I gotta do to get to know you?"
    "Go ask my wife, she knows everything."
  4. Guys says to me " I hate cops"
    "Go ahead and call Ghostbusters when you have a break in"
  5. "Man, the Knicks are gonna be the team to beat this season."
    "Yeah man, most injured starting 5 ever"