My Secret Talents

Not so secret anymore...
  1. 1.
    I can choose the slowest line at walmart without fail.
    Let's gooo. Slide and scan, lady, slide and scan.
  2. 2.
    I know every word to bohemian rhapsody
    Bismillah NO! We will not let you go. (let him go!)
  3. 3.
    I happen to be an expert kickball first baseman
    Second Team All-American Elementary Division
  4. 4.
    I can accurately match my windshield wiper speed to the rain
  5. 5.
    I always write brilliant first drafts
  6. 6.
    C'mon people don't even tell me you fell for the last two. That shit is impossible
  7. 7.
    I'm totally a Hufflepuff
    Not really a talent, I guess. Probably not a secret either.
  8. 8.
    Wheel of fortune tossup rounds get me going.
    Pink Daffodil! It's obviously Pink Daffodil, people!
  9. 9.
    I've kept my fish alive for over a year now.
    True team effort.
  10. 10.
    I firmly believe that candy corn is satan's hardened ear wax.
    Again, not really a talent. But we can all agree that candy corn is disgusting, right? Agree to disagree? Fine.
  11. 11.
    I can juggle.
  12. 12.
    When I was little, I could hold my breath until I passed out when I got angry.
    Now THAT'S a talent.