My Secret Talents
Not so secret anymore...
- 1.I can choose the slowest line at walmart without fail.Let's gooo. Slide and scan, lady, slide and scan.
- 2.I know every word to bohemian rhapsodyBismillah NO! We will not let you go. (let him go!)
- 3.I happen to be an expert kickball first basemanSecond Team All-American Elementary Division
- 4.I can accurately match my windshield wiper speed to the rain
- 5.I always write brilliant first draftsAlways.
- 6.C'mon people don't even tell me you fell for the last two. That shit is impossible
- 7.I'm totally a HufflepuffNot really a talent, I guess. Probably not a secret either.
- 8.Wheel of fortune tossup rounds get me going.Pink Daffodil! It's obviously Pink Daffodil, people!
- 9.I've kept my fish alive for over a year now.True team effort.
- 10.I firmly believe that candy corn is satan's hardened ear wax.Again, not really a talent. But we can all agree that candy corn is disgusting, right? Agree to disagree? Fine.
- 11.I can juggle.Weak.
- 12.When I was little, I could hold my breath until I passed out when I got angry.Now THAT'S a talent.