This is about the banana and its uses. Ranked from best to worst.
- •EatingThey are just really good for that.
- •Pretend PhoneA hilarious antic that kills with the under 7 crowd
- •Foiling intrudersA well placed banana peel in a doorway is enough to send a nefarious intruder ass over tea kettle flat out onto to their back. OR they just keep sliding and you open the back door and they shoot right out of your life.
- •BreadThey make bread so much better, not like that other phallic food the zucchini.
- •Bank RobberyYou want to to rob a bank but you don't have a gun. No you don't have to meet some strange man in a dark alley and shell out major dollars to get yo piece. Grab one of our bountiful banana buddies, stick it the pocket of your hoodie and point it at the cashier like you would your glock. Riches abound. BONUS while running eat the banana for the quick energy you need to make your getaway.
- •Using it "that" way.You know the one I'm talking about.
- •Making friends with a monkeyA handy banana will make those first few awkward moments so much more pleasurable.
- •Runway walk.Worried about your posture on the runways of Milan? Practice with a banana balanced on your head. You'll be tearing up the runway in no time, but remember no eating, stick to vaping and coffee, no need for these carbs.
- •InnuendoWithout it the 'is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me' joke wouldn't make senseSuggested by @gilbaron
- •Proving the existence of intelligent designSorry Kirk Cameron. http://bit.ly/1J9YZ0B
- •For ScaleSuggested by @gwcoffey
- •BoomerangIt's shape can really fool you. But no. This is not a skill a banana has.
- •Best friendDespite the universal love for the banana they make very poor friends. While at first it's an appeeling relationship, they quickly get to mushy and this leads to the inevitable split.
- •This Shit Is BananasB-A-N-A-N-A-SSuggested by @tothemaxxx
- •Bananas are also a great excuse to make monkey noises and romp around. Strong with the under 5 year old set.Suggested by @gilbaron
- •Classic comic slapstick propSuggested by @amybsherman