THE GOINGS ON OF THE HOUSE JOHNSON - A GUIDE

This is a glimpse into the morning routine in our home on an average day. For me...
  1. Eyes open -.•
    The wonderful sound of arguing fills the apartment as my dear wife who is an early riser is already arguing with my 7 year old daughter about getting up, or getting dressed, or arguing about what is a "proper lunch" to pack for school.
  2. Grab phone and run to the bathroom undetected.
    Whew salvation behind the bathroom door. The bathroom fan thankfully drowns out all but the loudest of arguments. Ahhhh sweet solitude. Hey what happened on Twitter.. How's my latest list doing? Omg @miggles36 your lists are so funny...
  3. Check clock
    Shit.... Been in here ten minutes better get out here and see if I can help with breakfastOH MY GOD TWITTER IS AWESOME THIS MORNING!
  4. Break up argument
    Barge into kitchen with determined "dad like" face and lecture daughter about respect and not arguing with the person making you breakfast. ... Offer to help with breakfast. Offer declined.
  5. Check Email
    Spam spam spam "thanks for the coffee honey" spam spam spam.
  6. Food!
    Two basted eggs with spinach toast and tomato? THANK YOU Dear!
  7. Reddit
    Oh my god..... This goat is in a boat!!!
  8. Time crunch
    Shit ten minutes till I have to drive a human being to be educated, better put on a shirt and deodorant.
  9. Lunch Crunch
    "Honey we have nothing for her lunch can you figure out something? I'm going to the bathroom". figure out something? Figure out something? I got this...... Empty fridge.... Shit!
  10. Iron chef dad
    We got sliced ham BAM! To slices of bread BAM! Lettuce? You bet? BAM!! Whoa big daddy what's that? KETCHUP! BAM! Lunch baby! The accoutrement? Sliced cucumber!!!!
  11. Oh shit shit
    Damn coffee! Now I actually have to go to the bathroom but shit now we have to get in the car to get to school...
  12. AUDIOBOOK SHIT
    Old audiobook for commute to school need a new one .... Oh my god @maya list is awesome. SHIT! I have to go!
  13. Shoes, socks, lunch, coat...
    "No grab a coat... Look it's raining this morning you need your rain coat.... I don't care just grab it. ... I know it's not raining IN THE CAR. Just .... Put it in your back pack......AGGGHHH GRAB A COAT!" Wife: "stop arguing"
  14. I love you
    Kisses all around. Elevator. Car. Audio book. Kisses. Watch the greatest thing in my life dance between the raindrops into the school.