THINGS I HAVE NOT DONE THAT PEOPLE ASSUME I HAVE BASED ON OUR COVERSATIONS

  1. Been to Montreal
    "Oh you're from Canada? I LOVE Montreal!" -"um yeah like me too" I grew up thousands of miles from Montreal. I don't speak French and have never worked there. Sadly. I want to go. I do. I Know!
  2. Read a Hemingway, Dickens, King or Austen Novel
    I KNOW!
  3. Gone to college
    Maybe explains my lack of classical reading.
  4. Owned a dog or have wanted to.
    Not a dog guy. I like dogs with jobs a HUGE amount. For our wedding we registered with the Pacific Assistance Dogs Society that trains service dogs for a wide variety of people with various needs. That stuff chokes me up faster than the end of Toy Story 3. So I LOVE dogs. Just the smart, well behaved ones.
  5. Watched Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange or On The Waterfront
    I know, I know, I know. I Know @miggles36 okay!
  6. Have had loads of sexual partners
    Nope. Maybe also has something to do with not going to college.
  7. Met Brad Pitt
    Was in a movie with him when I was 14. This was at peak Pitt times before Jolie and Anniston, he exploded into popularity. Almost every interview or person I met that knew I did the film asked "what's Brad Pitt like?" This went on for over a decade but the thing is I never met him. Being an honest guy I never lied and said I did and the look of disappointment on people's faces was so very very clear.
  8. Cocaine
    Never done it. Not for the fact that I'm worried about an OD or getting caught, but that I'll really really like it. I had several friends growing up who enjoyed these recreational drugs and they all agreed that seeing an already hyperactive and slightly weird guy buzzing around on coke or would not be something they'd want to see. So I've stayed clear knowing I'd probably love it.
  9. Graduated high school
    Missed it by 3 credits over a dispute on getting credit for 10th grade Drama. Oh and math. Never cared enough to go back and get a GED.
  10. Gone to church
    I played in the woods.