1. "Dude, you're better that that"
  2. "It won't get you any followers"
  3. "The ones I remember are from YEARS ago and probably pretty memorable" (i.e. you will get called out)
  4. "You'll get caught"
  5. "Isn't it illegal?"
  6. "Go to your shelves and do a list about TV shows you obsess over"
  7. "The kids nowadays won't know David Letterman and don't get his humor"
  8. "Go get a few beers" (followed later by...) "sleeeep, my pretty!"