A Note About Being Abused

About 6 years ago I was in an abusive relationship. I debated whether or not to post this in case this guy gets li.st and sees this but I decided fuck it. Maybe it'll help other people. I am going to throw out there that the abuse was not physical.
  1. I was in high school when this happened. I was very awkward and not the prettiest person and was considered weird because I just didn't care what others thought. Boyfriend was popular.
  2. I was COMPLETELY infatuated with this kid. He was hot, popular, and made good grades. I thought he was so perfect. He also thought he was so perfect.
  3. Popularity is important to a lot of kids in high school, and a lot of kids become bullies because of it. His "friends" started bullying him about who he was dating.
  4. I had told boyfriend about my depression and about how I had low self-esteem. He told me about how his friends made fun of him for dating me.
  5. He would make it very obvious that he was embarrassed of me.
  6. He listed all of my flaws - physical, and personality-wise.
  7. "You're without a doubt anorexic and that's why your belly pokes out after you eat"
    I'm very skinny and when I eat my belly pokes out. Perfectly normal thing, but at the time I didn't realize that and was very self conscious about my weight and stomach.
  8. He told me which of my friends he'd cheat on me with if given the chance.
  9. He told me his social status dropped because of me.
  10. If I was excited about something or did well on something he would brush it off and act like it wasn't a big deal. Meanwhile he would get excited about something or do well in something and I'd be excited with him.
  11. He made me feel like I was stupid, and ugly, and an overall embarrassment but made himself out to be this amazing person which prompted me to want to keep him around.
  12. Every time he put me down he would follow it up by saying "I love you" or telling me he's just trying to help me better myself.
  13. When I told him I was depressed he told me he was considering breaking up with me because he didn't want to be in a relationship with me if I killed myself.
    I would've been the second girlfriend of his to commit suicide.
  14. One night he asked me if there was anything about me that he didn't know. I told him that I can sing. He told me that he's heard me sing and that I'm terrible. I know for a fact that he's never heard me sing because I knew he would react that way.
    His automatic response to me being able to sing was to put me down because God forbid I actually be better at something than him.
  15. I was constantly walking on eggshells around this guy, and was constantly being put down by him
  16. I realize to some people this might sound like just a stupid teenage relationship and there are definitely women out there that have been in way worse relationships but I was a self-conscious, depressed, impressionable, 15 year old girl.
  17. It literally took me years to realize that I was never the problem, that there was nothing wrong with me. There is one person on this planet that knows the full extent of what I went through with this guy and the effect it had on me.
  18. To anyone that's been through anything serious and has posted about it on any social media platform I think they will agree with me that typing it out doesn't even begin to get across how awful the experience actually is.
  19. Never let another person make you feel like you're worthless. That goes for men, women, and everyone in between.