THE TIMES THAT HAVING A WEIRDLY STRONG MORAL COMPASS HAS NOT WORKED OUT IN MY FAVOR (PT. 1)
- •I spent a ridiculous amount of money on orphaned baby squirrels not once but TWICE.
- •A door-to-door salesman once stole my umbrellaIt was raining really hard and he asked if he could borrow an umbrella and that "he'd bring it back"
- •One time I helped a white supremacist figure out where the KKK was meeting.I'm not a white supremacist and am actually very liberal so this was awkward and annoying to say the least
- •I let this kid named Stephen borrow my favorite pencil in second grade and he lost itIT CHANGED COLORS WHEN YOU TOUCHED IT
- •I drove this random woman to a McDonald's like 20 minutes away because "her sister had had a heart attack while there" but then there was NO SISTER TO BE FOUND and I ended up buying the woman a mealThe moral of that story is to learn how to say "no" every once in a damn while.
- •When I was 3 this kid in my daycare colored on one of those magnedoodle things with a crayon and the daycare worker was really mad about it and asked who had done it and I said that I did it even though I didn't because I didn't want the other kid to get in trouble at home