THINGS THAT USED TO BE IMPORTANT TO ME BUT AREN'T ANYMORE

  1. Being chill
    Pretending to be chill is a great way to end up at a party that you hate
  2. Getting rid of my gut
    Now that I weigh 170 pounds it's really funny that this mattered to me at 125 pounds
  3. Desexualizing my comedy
  4. Staying friends with everyone I've ever been close to in spite of glaring incompatibility
  5. Politics :(