PASSOVER SEDERS ARE THE TITS

  1. The soul-rousingness of singing Dayenu (will not go quietly into that gentle night)
  2. The gelatinousness of gifilte fish
  3. Making and consuming charoset, in particular Halel sandwich. Must be made with a classic slap- chop.
  4. Comparing Haggadah notes and feeling myself professorial by photocopying and collating that ish
  5. Matzah Balls
  6. Bartons Lollycones
  7. The memory of selling Barton's Lollycones, meshugah nuts etc door to door in exchange for arcade style point collection (saving up to win a tootsie roll piggie bank filled with tootsie rolls)
  8. Afikomen intrigue
  9. "The afikomen is always in grandpa's sock." -ben
  10. Jonathan Safran Foer going deep on his counter-Maxwell House, reconstructionist Haggadah
  11. 10 plagues - manischevitz pinky-dipping and in particular "Da-am" and "Tzfar-Dayah"
  12. Jelly fruit slices and their kitschy boxes
  13. Toasted coconut marshmallows