Things you learn as you go bald

I am 31 and have been going bald for about two years now. It started slow, but has recently hit some sort of critical hair loss point. I now qualify myself as a "Bald American." These are a few of the things I have learned while on the journey of personal struggle.
  1. You have the option of not paying for hair cuts any more.
    Professional hair cuts are a luxury. And an expensive one at that. Sure they make your hair look great.... but you don't have that much hair any more. Buy a clipper on Amazon for like $20, and spend 20 minutes every couple weeks cutting your hair yourself and BOOM you are good.
  2. Your scalp will burn
    It is going to happen, especially if you are as pale as I am. I spent 20 minutes in direct sunlight, and my scalp burned like bacon. Sun block. It will feel weird rubbing it into what little hair you have left, but you will get used to it.
  3. You will become aware that all the greatest bad asses are bald.
    Jason Statham. The Rock. Bruce Willis. Jean Luc Picard. All total, unrelenting, unquestioned bad ass mofos.
  4. Hats
    Hats are now not only an option. They are kind of a must. As I mentioned before, your scalp will burn. So it helps to have a solid hat. Every one has their own spirit hat. Cabby, trucker, classic ball cap, bowler if you are feeling old school, or even the humble pork pie. There are many options. FYI, your spirit hat is not a fedora. No one's hat is the fedora. No one looks good in a fedora. Take my word for it.
  5. "Being bald is not a problem. Going bald will kill you."
    These words were spoken to me when I was a 19 year old college freshman. My philosophical logic teacher was a very well educated, super buff, and incredibly well spoken US army Vet. He was also Bald. His head was so shiny, he had to have used some sort of dome polish. The first time he saw me, he called me his hair antithesis and laughed. I had long, bushy curls at the time. I informed him I would one day go bald due to genetics. He smiled knowingly and laid these words of wisdom on me.
  6. Still got some hair...... but for how much longer? Only time will tell.