Harry Potter and the Battle for America
The Dark Side
- •Steve BannonEvil creepy bigot in charge.
- •Donald TrumpDumb as rocks, only there at the master's sufferance, basically a rat
- •Kellyanne ConwayPale, unhinged, slavishly devoted to her evil master
- •Paul RyanMust be under the imperius curse.
- •Sean SpicerHighly unethical hack working to manipulate the press.
- •Jeff SessionsAlready judged to be evil but pops up again like a bad penny.
- •John McCainThe world isn't made up of good people and Death Eaters, Harry.
- •Chris ChristieIt hurts when the master turns on you. 😪
- •Jeb BushThe weanie we could have lived with.
- •Rick Perry and Rudy GiulianiMiscellaneous thugs
- •Alex JonesA little uncouth but certainly useful when there's dirty work to be done.
- •Richard NixonThe history lesson no one wants to learn.
- •Mitch McConnellGross to look at. Calculating and reptilian and dangerous.
- •Betsy DeVosWoefully unprepared for the job. Doomed to fail from the beginning. Collateral damage to innocent students inevitable.