FAVORITE THINGS TO DO DEFIANTLY WHEN I'M FEELING SAD ABOUT BEING SINGLE AND ALONE

Inspired by @sally (I've also requested this list from her)
  1. Make a fucking kick-ass dinner and eat it alone while watching a terrible (but manly) action flick.
  2. Sleep diagonally.
  3. Eat dark chocolate chips out of the bag.
  4. 27-minute shower + beer.
    I have a marble bench in there.
  5. Stay on the toilet to finish reading a magazine article long after I'm done taking a shit.
  6. Walk to a favorite restaurant, eat a lavish dinner at the bar.
    Drink two cocktails and order dessert.
  7. Fry eggs for breakfast. Naked.
    Also somewhat dangerous.
  8. Go to a movie, solo.
    Eat all the popcorn.
  9. Stop for a solo nightcap. Close the bar.
  10. 2am tater tots after a drunk night out.
  11. Stay in pajamas until late afternoon.
  12. Get in bed at 9pm. Read until midnight.