LIES I COMMONLY HEAR BEFORE NOON

  1. I had to take one of my chickens to the vet.
  2. Traffic.
  3. The weather made the roads iffy.
  4. I was leaving on time, and then realized I needed to call <client>.
  5. I have diarrhea.
  6. I missed the bus.
  7. Everyone on the road was an asshole today.
  8. We don't know who posted that on our page.
  9. Your check is being processed.
  10. I understand.
  11. No, I'll make the deadline.
  12. I hit every light on the way here.
  13. Yes, we'll put those images in a Dropbox folder.
  14. It's on my to-do list. (Me)
  15. I'm totally getting shit done today. (Me)