1. Your kid is in the photos
    You're sharing photos of your children with total strangers. Creepy.
  2. Duck face.
  3. No photos of you alone
    Wait...which one are you?
  4. All selfies
    On the other hand, don't you have any friends?
  5. So. Many. Dog pix
    I get it. You love your dog.
  6. Zombies
  7. All of your photos are mis-cropped or out of focus
    A modicum of basic tech proficiency would be nice.
  8. You lied about your age, but copped to it in the bio
    You're way too young for me. Why would you pretend you're older?
  9. I have to scroll to read your whole bio
    So not the point.
  10. Two photos with ski helmet and goggles, one with a scuba mask
    Not a leap of faith I'm willing to take.