The Evolution of a Relationship Playlist

For all of my fellow singletons this Valentine's Day. Bonus: You don't have to make an awkward trip to pick up a box of your stuff when it's over.
  1. "Somebody to Love" by Queen - I don't believe that a person needs to be part of a couple to have a meaningful and/or happy life, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to go to the movies with so you can comment out loud without looking like a crazy person. (Incidentally, also my favorite Queen song.)
  2. "Being Alive" from "Company" (any version) - Gorgeous song but I can't hear it without remembering the lines, "Don't be afraid it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of is that it won't be." So, you know, no pressure there.
  3. "Cold Dark World" by Weezer - Slight stalker vibe. Easier to find endearing when it's imagined to be coming from someone too shy and uncertain to make a move.
  4. "Unemployed Boyfriend" by Everclear - Creepy or cute to get hit on at the unemployment office? I guess it depends on the day you're having. We'll assume cute for the sake of this hypothetical relationship.
  5. "Closer" by Tegan and Sara - For that early stage where things might not really be going anywhere but it's fun to find out.
  6. "The Origin of Love" from "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" (any version) - You've gotta love a good origin story.
  7. "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor - Things might be going somewhere and this person might restore your faith in humanity.
  8. "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - Things actually are going well.
  9. "Unconditionally" by Katy Perry - Nothing will ever go wrong again, this relationship will be a model for everyone else.
  10. "You'll Never Know" by Ella Fitzgerald - On a constant mental loop while gazing wistfully at your significant other.
  11. "Not While I'm Around" from "Sweeney Todd" (any version) - The protective instinct has kicked in. You may not have to rescue each other from a psychotic barber and his shady landlady, but you can shut down trolls on one another's Twitter accounts.
  12. "Two of Us" by Aimee Mann & Michael Penn (cover) - Everything is perfect and will never change.
  13. "Maps" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - You can check if you want, but no one else will ever love you the same way I do.
  14. "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie - It's cool when DCFC sings it, but if it was a spoken declaration of love it would be a little intense.
  15. "Something" by The Beatles - You can't put your finger on just what makes them so damn wonderful.
  16. "Cupid's Chokehold" by Gym Class Heroes feat. Patrick Stump - A catalog of crappy relationships, but this one is definitely going to last. (Bonus: The video features a pre-super-stardom Katy Perry.)
  17. "Glycerine" by Bush - It seems that anyone who graduated from high school between 1995 and 1999 is obligated to include this on any mix of love songs.
  18. "Just Give Me a Reason" by P!nk feat. Nate Reuss - One person is a little more into the relationship than the other. The first cracks are starting to appear.
  19. "Hot N Cold" by Katy Perry - The person who's more invested has started to realize that the other person isn't quite as into it.
  20. "Idiot Boyfriend" by Jimmy Fallon - At some point the adorability and quirkiness of "Unemployed Boyfriend" transitioned into...this.
  21. "Won't U Please B Nice" by Nellie McKay - The dialogue inside the mind of the more invested party. Running on a constant loop with a tight, fake smile on their face.
  22. "Telescope Eyes" by Eisley - Important for the chorus plea of "Please don't make me cry."
  23. "A Million Ways" by OK Go - The sneaking suspicion that your significant other is a manipulative jerk.
  24. "Please Don"t Leave Me" by P!nk - Slightly passive aggressive, as the narrator is aware of the mixed signals being sent and just wants to keep the other person around to mess with them a bit. Not necessarily a sociopath but definitely a jerk.
  25. "The Writer" by Ellie Goulding - An attempt to save what's already ending, essentially letting the departing person call all of the shots. Not the best tactic.
  26. "Ex-Girlfriend" by No Doubt - The quiet voice that kept saying it was never going to work is suddenly much louder.
  27. "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus - When someone decides to go big and make a last ditch effort which backfires because the other person has already checked out.
  28. "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance - An entire fight in one song.
  29. "Call Me When You're Sober" by Evanescence - The confirmation that you're dealing with a jerk.
  30. "Not About Love" by Fiona Apple - Yeah, still a jerk.
  31. "The One That Got Away" by The Civil Wars - The chorus of "I wish you were the one that got away" says it all.
  32. "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé - To the left, babe. Don't take any of my stuff on the way out.
  33. "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye - The inevitable replay of the entire relationship and wondering how the hell you got to this point.
  34. "I Was Gonna Marry You" by Tristan Prettyman - This phrase will be thought at some point.
  35. "Museum of Broken Relationships" by Veruca Salt - Before you've burned or chucked everything that reminds you of them.
  36. "Who Knew" by P!nk - Kind of wishing you'd listened to everyone giving you advice.
  37. "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)" by Plain White T's - Sadness morphs into anger.
  38. "Used to Love You" by Gwen Stefani - Flip-flopping because you're remembering that things weren't always bad.
  39. "F.O.D." By Green Day - And then back to anger.
  40. "The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore" by The Ides of March - The spiral of absolute certainty that this was your last shot at happiness.
  41. "Smile" by Lily Allen - Contemplating the backslide but (hopefully) realizing how far you've come and accepting that it's a terrible idea.
  42. "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera - When you realize that you will ultimately be stronger (and you're also out of sick days, your misery-enabling items of choice, and reasonably clean pajamas).
  43. "U + Ur Hand" by P!nk - Keep moving, pal, not interested.
  44. "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair - Screw them, I'm awesome.
  45. variant ending - "Goodbye Song" by Elizaveta - For people mature enough to realize this thing isn't going to work. Cut your losses and walk away with sweet memories instead of burning hatred.
  46. Variant ending - "One" by Aimee Mann (cover) - It kind of sucks to be alone, but it also sucks to be stuck in a crappy, one-sided relationship.