That Time I Fucked Up Meeting Fred Armisen
Fred Armisen is one of my most favorite people. And I tried telling him so.
- •I should begin by saying that my parents have always told my siblings and I that celebrities do NOT want to be stopped by us regs. "If you feel that you have to tell them something, just say 'I love your work' or 'I'm a big fan' and move on."
- •Apparently, I took this very seriously.
- •December 2011: I was walking alone down the sidewalk on Market Street when I see Fred Armisen walking alone straight toward me.
- •Instantly, all thoughts are on how I need to talk to him. I need to let him know how much he means to me.
- •Fericito, Joy Behar, Obama, Prince, David Patterson, EVERYTHING on Portlandia. I had quoted his lines since 2002. I needed to sum up how much he meant to me. I needed to let him know how great he was and is.
- •But the whole while I had my parents in my head. "Don't bother him." "He's probably on vacation, he doesn't want to talk to you."
- •Just as we crossed paths, I smiled, made eye contact and I (I think) said "I'm a huge fan." And immediately kept walking, didn't even slow my pace to say this.
- •He stopped when he heard me, and said "Thank you so much!" And waited for me to respond. Like HE WANTED TO HAVE A CONVO WITH ME. So gracious!
- •I realized this way too late. And I was already five steps away from him and couldn't slow down.
- •It was like my brain was saying, "He wants to talk! Turn around!" But my legs were like, "No, you've gotta keep going, this is awkward af."
- •And then I hated myself and my awkwardness for the rest of the week.
- •The end.