Now that ListApp is going public I think I'll refrain from my personal list that goes into a backstory but I do want to share this because it's what I've learned from my experience and maybe someone else is going/had also gone through too (though I hope you lovely people didn't have to of course)
  1. Know it's not your fault at ALL if they get really mad. It's them - it's their disease.
  2. Protect yourself. Lock yourself in your room if you have to. Have a safe place other than your house to go to, like a close friend or relative's house.
  3. If you're worried about other family members create a plan. Don't be afraid to call 911 if you feel someone is in danger but otherwise have a safe word. Texting is helpful now too. Also if you have pets keep them with you if you can.
  4. Do not follow in their footsteps. They say you either become them, or the opposite. I'm not a huge drinker for this reason, but I can still enjoy going out and having a few drinks every once in awhile. It's okay to be in the middle, just know the line not to cross.
  5. Just because you don't want to drink doesn't mean it "allows" you to take on other substances. I did for a bit but it's not worth the time or money. Or health!!
  6. Though it's hard to not yell at them try not to. They're drunk they aren't in a good state of mind - don't put yourself in harms way. I'm a hypocrite I would always argue but it was like fighting a wall. And there's a good chance they won't even remember that they argued with you, let alone what they said.
  7. Watch out for warning signs in a future relationship. This is not a situation you want to be in again. I made this mistake and I was miserable. Being in love with a toxic person isn't worth it, someone else will love you I promise.
  8. Save money to move out. Moving out was the best thing I ever did.
  9. GO TO THERAPY. Talking to family members is always biased and not helpful. You can talk to friends of course but they aren't your therapist and it's not fair to make one person your constant outlet even if they say it's okay. Plus a therapist can connect you with cool outlets like Al-Anon/Alateen (groups for family's and friends) you're not alone!
  10. Just take everything as an example of what not to do and try to build a new happy life for yourself. Decide who you want to let in. If you want to have a family one day give your kids what you didn't have, that's what I wanna do!