LEAST FUCKABLE HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS
Inspired by @laur
- •FilchThe only pussy you're getting is Mrs. Norris
- •Gildoroy LockhartYou would be the guy sending dick pics and saying how good in bed you are - but once it comes time to have sex you would freak out and find an excuse to leave.
- •Cornelius FudgeYou're so dull and easily persuaded. I would have to wait for you to take off layers of old man clothes for a purely missionary experience.
- •VoldemortDude are you even living? Or am I fuckin a horcrux.
- •Professor QuierrelYou'd be naked and only wearing your turban which would seem concerning especially when your turban keeps saying "ouch!"
- •UmbridgeYou would always want it on the rag - your obsession with blood, am I right?
- •Percy WeasleyYou would need it to be done one way and have ocd about the whole thing. I just picture this being boring as hell.
- •Crabbe & GoyleYou are both the definition of what a thumb thumb (spy kids) in person form is. No thanks.
- •PeevesYou would finish in 30 seconds - also EWW.
- •Vernon DursleyYou're described as having no neck and honestly your offspring proves your inability to produce properly. I feel like you just did Aunt Petunia doggy style once and that was that.
- •Peter PettigrewCould turn into a rat at a moments notice. That hand. Gave up James and Lily.Suggested by @laur
- •Rita SkeeterEveryone would know about it the next day.Suggested by @laur