THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS

  1. When I was little I hoped that that one day I would chew food like my mom
  2. Before I hit puberty I wanted boobs like the Olsen twins
  3. I used to teach ants how to swim
    It was 5 year old me throwing ants into a bucket full of water saying encouraging things but they would all drown obviously
  4. I used to eat rock salt off the snow and called it "spicy snow"
  5. I whole heartedly thought I was going to turn into a leprechaun after watching "The Luck of The Irish"
  6. I used to throw my cats down the stairs because I thought I was teaching them to fly
    Don't get a cat when you have a 4 year old daughter
  7. I used to wear a specific Halloween bucket on my head and embody the persona "the peaceful father" and preach peace
  8. I had a crush on Floop from spy kids